I came across the Scriptnotes podcast hosted by John August and Craig Mazin about two weeks ago. Since then I have listened to all of their podcasts and have gained something from each one of them. When sitting down to listen to this week’s podcast, on how to be a six figure screenwriter, I was prepared to tuck all the valuable information away for the day that I might be lucky enough to need it. Then I was struck by the realization that this applies to my life now. Not the lessons on incorporating yourself, or on the positives and negatives of having a business manager, those are still far from my experience. But when Craig said that some people look around and say, ‘did I just waste 15 years of my life in a panic?’ I looked at myself.
The business of screenwriting gives me palpitations. I’m confident that I am a really good writer, but I spend way too much time thinking how to break into that world. I worry what those who could give me access to a screenwriting career think or feel about this or that? I worry if I can even get my scripts read. When I come in contact with them, are they going to think that I am too loud, too quiet, too happy (yes, someone actually said that) if I’m myself? I’ve even posted about how social networking makes me nervous because I’m not in total control over who sees my posts. What if they dislike something I wrote? Will it affect my future? I’m wasting my life worrying about this crap.
From now on, I’ll treat my screenwriting career like I do relationships. I’m just going to be me. If I’m not who you want, then I don’t want you. There is someone else out there that will recognize what a wonderful addition that I would make in their life, and even if I never find that person I’m going to be happy having adventures on my own.
So, even though the one figure in my screenwriting career is a zero, only because I refuse to acknowledge negative numbers, I needed the podcast Six Figure Advice. Thank you John August and Craig Mazin. I’ll see you soon…or not.